The Path Less Traveled.

Adoption ...

(Disclaimer - I am not writing this to encourage or discourage. I am also not trying to bash anyone. Just to give others an inside perspective)

I believe in Adoption over Abortion. Not because of my Religious views or because I feel that I am better than anybody else. I believe in Adoption simply,  because I am adopted.

Now in my 30's I know quite a few people who have been adopted or adopted children of their own.  I understand the ups and downs for the adopted child. As I have lived that my entire life.

There is no hand book on parenting you get with the birth of your first child or the adoption of your first. No one is perfect and people make mistakes. No two kids are the same what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Some kids go their entire child hood from foster care to foster care or orphanages.  I was lucky My adoption was already set up and finalized with in 3 days of my birth.  Back then 3 days was the average for a hospital to keep a new born.

I knew I was adopted from an early age maybe around 7 years old. My Parents sat me down and tried to explain I was adopted. My Adopted Dads (adopted father)  sister actually knew the young women who was carrying me and determined to give me a chance.  My Birth mother, lawyer, and Doctor etc were all lined up. I have read what adoption records my Parents have. I have now even met my biological mother and brothers.

My Reason to even begin looking for my Biological parents was simple.  I had grown up with no medical information available for doctors. Diagnosed with ADHD at an early age and as I got older the questions everyone gets at the doctor's office. You know " Does your family have heart issues?" type of questions. Where never answered because I just did not know. During high School it hit me, Are there heart issues? Is that why am I having panic attacks? There was even a small possibility of Cancer that was ruled out but that all brought to light the importance of knowing the medical back ground.

At 18 I was to have help finding my biological family.  That did not happen due to other health issues with in my adopted family.  So I started my own search. Turned down by all talk show host who at the time loved this kind of stuff. Jerry Springer to Montel Williams they all denied helping me find my biological family.

Mid 2000's I had made contact with my Maternal Grandmother. That did not go so well. About a year later I got an unexpected phone call. I got home from work was changing to go out to eat when the phone rang. The lady on the other end sounded pleasant and very calm. Yet I felt I had a telemarketer on the phone. Then something was said that almost floored me. I had my Biological Mother on the Phone. First time in 26 years I had heard her voice. First time in my life I had heard her voice. We spoke a few months on the phone and meet that October half way between my home and hers. She brought a friend and I did the same.

(back story on this is right before Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf states I had wrote to women in Pass Christian, Mississippi. Who was a family friend of both biological and adopted families? The letter contained the back story of who I was and how my aunt gave me her information. I also sent a bunch of photos of me. By pure luck, My Biological Mother went to Mississippi and visited this lady just after Katrina and this wonderful woman shared with her I had been looking for her. She used my name and city state to find my phone number on line) 

Now almost 9 years later. I have brothers and nephews. Being an only child growing up this took some getting adjusted to. Amazing, opportunity. The proudest thing in my life is being an Aunt.

I would not say I regret meeting my biological family. I would say knowing what is in my past, and having some amazing people in my life is for sure one of the best choices I made.

There are always pros and cons to every choice you make in life. I hope this blog will help others find the path that is right for them. There is no set age to tell a child about this choice in life. My personal view is telling them is better than not telling them till they are an adult. (I would state this is my view when neither parent in the child's life is the biological)